TMI, times about a thousand

My "interesting activity of the day" today was filling out a Mayo Clinic questionnaire sent to me courtesy of my father (an apparently willing guinea pig) on the topic of "Familial Aggregation of Chronic Constipation."

People, there are some questions that just should not be put into words.

Want to know why I'm going to be a vet and not a physician? THIS is why: terms such as

-- "straining"
-- "feeling of incomplete emptying"
-- "press on or around your bottom"
-- "loose, mushy, or watery"
-- "hard or lumpy"
-- "leakage"

In fact, on the T-shirt I'm currently wearing, #6 of the "Ten Reasons Why I Want to Be a Veterinarian Instead of a Human Doctor" is "I would rather rectal a cow than a human."

Enough said. Someone pass the mind bleach, please.